Pleased to meet me

Have you ever wondered about the person behind the blog you’re reading? It could be any blog, not just this one. What makes the author tick? What drives that person? Well, wonder no more about this blogger, my friend. I’m in a sharing mood. I also have about 10 posts started that I’m struggling to bring to life and need a mindless break. I saw this on another blog and thought, Hey, I should totally steal that Hey, I could do something similar! Here are 25 random things about me that you’ll only read about here.

1. I love incorporating pop culture references into my blog, especially post titles. If you get the one for this post, I will never Replace you. Ha! You’ll see what I did there if you know your ’80s alternative music.

2. I’ve enthusiastically attended a Buffy the Vampire Slayer convention and even took notes during some of the side sessions. I had a binder and everything! In my defense, I think Buffy is an excellent female role model — she’s smart, focused, witty, strong, and never plays the victim. But I didn’t go for any of those reasons. No, I went because the guy who played Spike was going to be there and I was convinced that if we met, he’d fall in love with me and we’d live happily ever after. At least I wasn’t in costume. That would have been lame.

3. One evening, when I was about 10 years old, my mom, grandmother, and I got caught in a rainstorm on the way home from visiting friends. At one point, the intensity of the downpour increased and the sound was deafening. The next thing we knew, our car was bombarded with frogs raining down from the sky. It seemed to last about 5 minutes, although in reality, it was probably much shorter than that, and when it was over, both the road and car were completely covered with thousands of frogs. True story.

4. I have never smoked pot or taken an illegal drug of any kind.

5. I completely flattened a parking meter with my Suzuki Sidekick when a spider crawled out of the vent near the steering wheel. I panicked and hit the clutch instead of the brake. I hate spiders, and this one was far bigger than it should have been. I obviously moved my car to a different location and never told anyone what had happened. It took them two weeks to replace the meter.

6. I lost the oil cap to the above-mentioned Sidekick, so I took off my underwear and used them as a cap until I could order a replacement.

7. If I had to do it all over again I think I’d be a chef, which is odd because I don’t really like to cook or spend any time in the kitchen. It just seems like it would be really exciting.

8. I recently read a piece about one woman’s brush with death. She’d been diagnosed with terminal cancer and decided to grab life by the horns and start doing everything she had always wanted to do because, you know, you’re not guaranteed another day. I was like, “Yeah, I am so going to do this … starting tomorrow.”

9. I’ve never been outside North America, but I have a passport at the ready. I just need some stamps in it. I will visit Iceland and Patagonia before I die. Maybe tomorrow.

10. A few years ago, my d00d and I were at a Widespread Panic show when this attractive blond, who was obviously rolling, came up to me, placed her hand on my cheek, told me I was lovely, and proceeded to kiss me full on the lips. Hey, maybe it was Katy Perry!

11. I refuse to eat something if I don’t like the sound of its name. Examples of this include but are not limited to veal, scrod, squab, and squid.

12. If I could bring back one animal from extinction it would be the Irish Elk.

13. I’ve always loved music. My parents bought me a small turntable that included a working microphone you could plug in and sing along to the records with. It was really karaoke before karaoke was a thing. Anyway, I remember I used to play Blondie’s Eat to the Beat and Parallel Lines over and over and over again while pretending to be Debbie Harry. Our neighbor lady asked my parents what that awful noise was that was coming from our house.

14. I had the lead role in all of my high school musicals, playing Ado Annie in Oklahoma, Nancy in Oliver, and Miss Adelaide in Guys and Dolls. Yeah, take that, neighbor lady. Interesting note: Chris Kirkpatrick, who later grew up to be one of the guys in a little group I like to call N’Sync, played Oliver to my Nancy and years later told me he’d had a crush on me.

15. I love circus peanuts and won’t apologize for it.

16. I got in trouble in the 5th grade for riding a skateboard in the classroom during recess, which had been moved inside because of the weather. It wasn’t so much the fact that I was riding the skateboard that got me in hot water. It was mostly because I crashed into a wall and fell off, landing in such a way so as to break the middle finger on my left hand. I had to wear a cast with a finger brace that made it look like I was flipping the bird for three months. It was broken on the growth line and the doctors said if it didn’t heal properly, my finger would never grow again. I think they just thought it was funny to see a little girl running around flipping the bird.

17. I’m a huge Jackson Browne fan and used to play his records all the time when I was growing up. Yeah, I was the weird kid who knew all the words to “Jamaica, Say You Will” when all the other kids were singing along to Captain and Tenille. Many years later I was at one of his shows and a guy approached me, asked if I was a fan, and told me he could introduce me to Jackson. Convinced he was just trying to hit on me, I not-so-politely rebuffed his advances, only to be completely stunned when I saw him walk out on stage an hour later and get behind the drums. I still get sad when I think about that.

18. I squealed like a little girl when Cy Curnin of The Fixx pointed at me during “Stand or Fall” a couple of years ago at Blossom.

19. I love Halloween but refuse to visit haunted houses, haunted mazes, or haunted trails — anything, really, where there are costumed characters wielding weapons of death on the loose because I feel like they all provide too much cover for an actual serial killer, and I ain’t interested in being a victim.

20. I’m obsessed with college football and build my weekend schedule around games during the season. O-H!

21. My favorite movie is Jaws, and I do my best to watch it at least once a year.

22. My favorite alcoholic beverage right now is the Moscow Mule: ginger beer + vodka + lime juice = one happy blogger.

23. I was selected from the audience to introduce the Blue Man Group at one of their shows in NYC.

24. I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue.

25. Let’s go out on a high note, shall we? My most embarrassing moment happened a few years ago at the grocery store. I was in the Express Lane in front of a really cute guy and it was taking forever because they’d just installed these new screens that displayed what you were buying and how much it cost. Remember that whole deal where people demanded to know they were being charged what the shelf tag read? Anyway, this guy and I are flirting and it’s all fabulous, and then it’s time for me to check out. I’m talking to the guy as I’m putting my items on the counter and I can actually see his expression go from being amused by my charm to one of concern and then sheer horror. I turn and look at the screen and here’s what it says in giant letters: LIGHT BULBS – 4 PK., ROPE – 10 FT., ANAL CREAM, GUM. The light bulbs are self-explanatory. Who doesn’t need light bulbs? The rope was to be used as clothesline because I line dry a lot of my stuff. The anal cream was actually an analgesic cream (think Aspercream) and whoever thought to abbreviate it like that deserves to be punched. The gum was probably Juicy Fruit or Fruit Stripe. The cute guy refused to make eye contact with me and I never saw him again.

 

That’s all I’ve got. But, really, isn’t that enough? Hope you enjoy reading the post as much as I enjoyed writing it. Have a good one, y’all!

Peace out!

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